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Egil Johansen, the landlord of the Kenton pub in Hackney, east London, describes recent incidents involving children as "like the wild west." He has now banned children entirely after a three-year-old fell down a cellar hatch while parents sat elsewhere, a five-year-old crashed into staff carrying drinks, and six parents brought 10 hyperactive children after a birthday party while ignoring their behavior."In every case, the parents blame us when something goes wrong or get really angry when we ask them to control their children," says Johansen, who has run the pub for 17 years. "I'm legally obliged to keep children safe on my premises and if the parents let their children run riot, the only answer is to not allow them in at all."Johansen initially tried banning children only after 5pm, but this interim measure failed to address the underlying issues. Despite online criticism framing him as the "baddie," he expresses sadness about the situation: "I'm a publican; I'm a people-person. It gives me no joy to ban anyone, but it's just not safe: parents don't control their children and our other customers were beginning to go elsewhere. I had no choice."The Kenton's decision reflects a growing trend among UK pubs seeking to differentiate themselves from establishments that "resemble soft play centres without the ball pit." While some welcome this shift, others view it as unwelcoming to families, creating a culture war in the pub industry.Lee Jones, landlord of the Brewers Arms in West Malvern, Worcestershire, reversed a previous child ban: "We're dog-friendly, child-friendly, adult-friendly. We're just friendly – we don't distinguish. Pubs are for the community and I don't see bans in the spirit of what we're here for." Jones reports that when children become rowdy, staff can address the issue with parents, though this is rarely needed.Stephen Boyd, who runs the Alma in south London, took a different approach after attempting to attract young families. He found families with children consumed disproportionate time and resources with special requests for diluted drinks, heated beverages, and customized meals, while adult customers waited longer for their orders."You just need a couple screaming, banging on a table or running up and down, and it dictates the whole atmosphere of the pub," Boyd says. "Parents would take massive umbrage if staff asked them to stop their children doing something." After implementing a child ban, he describes the change as "a fucking revelation" with staff retention improving and takings doubling.Despite the positive results, Boyd faced significant backlash: "I got a lot of online hate. Mainly from people who had never been to the pub but felt I was doing something morally hateful."Tom Stainer, chief executive of the Campaign for Real Ale, acknowledges the debate is "very live" but emphasizes: "But you do have to look at the responsibility of the parents in these situations, not just at the pubs. They're the ones responsible for making sure that their children behave."Financial considerations also drive some decisions. Mandy Keefe, landlady of the Wheel Inn in Ashford, banned children partly for behavioral reasons but also financial ones: "If a third of my Sunday customers were children eating from a reduced-rate child's menu and not drinking any alcohol, that wouldn't be financially viable."Across the UK, pubs are making individual decisions based on their specific circumstances, but as Johansen's experience demonstrates, it only takes one serious incident to settle the question for good.

The film 'They Will Kill You' is a satirical take on the beat-em-up genre, offering a mix of gore, bad jokes, and deja vu. The story revolves around Asia, a new maid at the Virgil, a satanic co-op residence in New York, where she must navigate a world of satanic rituals and eternal life.The film's tone is pitched between a bloodbath and bath time, with a boyish strain of immaturity dominating the creative force. This is evident in the giddy, inventive approach to violence, where the narrative device of immortality unshackles the filmmaker from the laws of physics. The film's antic gore peaks with an extended interlude following a disembodied eyeball as it rolls down corridors and slingshots itself up an elevator shaft.The adolescent quality runs deeper than that, manifesting more overtly in the potty-mouthedness of the script and the ostentatious stylistic flourishes that are hand-me-downs from other filmmakers. The film's supporting cast is haphazardly assembled and half-assedly differentiated from one another, with Heather Graham and Tom Felton getting the most to do.Despite its sprightly fight choreography and retro synth arpeggios, the film's invoked inspirations and story components err on the side of the popular and well-trod. The received shtick grows worn before long, and the film's attempts at humor often fall flat. A good rule of (severed) thumb: if you're going to make a character quote Monty Python's immortal 'just a flesh wound' bit, you must yourself be capable of originally generating something at least as funny.

Russia has carried out one of its largest aerial attacks on Ukraine, launching 948 drones in a 24-hour period as it moves troops and equipment to the front line in what appears to be the start of its new offensive.The attacks have resulted in civilian casualties, with two people killed in the western Ukrainian city of Ivano-Frankivsk and one person killed in the region of Vinnytsia. The city of Lviv has also been targeted, with footage showing a drone crashing into an old building next to a church in the historic centre.Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has issued a new appeal for allies to supply Kyiv with air defence munitions, warning that Kyiv will face a deficit of missiles while Washington is focused on the US-Israeli war on Iran.The Institute for the Study of War (ISW) has reported that Russia has moved heavy equipment and more troops to the front line, with General Oleksandr Syrskii, the commander-in-chief of Ukraine's armed forces, saying Russian troops have made simultaneous attempts to break through defensive lines in several strategic areas.Russia's new offensive is seen as an escalation of its war of attrition, which has been unable to capture cities but has made incremental gains across rural areas.

As the conflict drags on, Iranians are attempting to maintain a semblance of ordinary life in the face of constant explosions and airstrikes. The days following Nowruz, the Persian New Year, are usually a time of renewal and celebration, but this year, the atmosphere is tense."More and more, people are starting to normalise this war", said Farhad, a photography editor in Tehran. "It's difficult, but we're adapting and trying to return to our daily lives as much as possible. There's no alternative. We're tired. We just want peace."Despite the challenges, some Iranians are finding ways to cope. Aylar, a 39-year-old human rights worker, paid for an expensive VPN to circumvent the internet blackout imposed by Iranian authorities so she could stay in touch with relatives abroad. She also made time for a coffee date with friends, highlighting the complexity of life during conflict.The humanitarian toll is significant, with Iran's official death toll frozen at around 1,500, but the real figure may be more than 3,000, according to the Iranian Human Rights Activists News Agency. Many more have been injured, and the psychological impact is profound.As the situation continues to unfold, uncertainty and division within Iranian society are palpable. While most Iranians oppose the war, some have welcomed it as a potential catalyst for change. The future remains uncertain, with concerns that the conflict could become a recurring reality.

The UK government has taken a significant step in its ongoing efforts to counter Russia's attempts to evade Western sanctions. Armed forces have been authorized to board Russian oil tankers in British waters, a move aimed at disrupting Moscow's 'shadow fleet' of vessels.This fleet, comprising over 600 vessels targeted by sanctions from the EU, UK, and US, uses tactics such as false national flags and opaque ownership structures to export Russian crude oil while avoiding Western sanctions. The new rules apply specifically to vessels sanctioned by the UK.The Royal Navy has previously collaborated with allies to take action against these vessels. For instance, last week it helped track a sanctioned Russian oil tanker in the Mediterranean, which was subsequently boarded by the French navy.The UK's move is part of a broader strategy to hamper Russia's economy and, consequently, its war efforts in Ukraine. Prime Minister Starmer emphasized that the goal is to 'starve Putin's war machine of the dirty profits that fund his barbaric campaign in Ukraine.'However, Russia has warned that direct action against shadow fleet vessels could lead to direct conflict. A senior Russian official, Nikolai Patrushev, suggested that Moscow could deploy its navy to protect Russian-linked vessels from potential European seizures.The UK's defense secretary, John Healey, previously suggested using 'military options' against sanctioned vessels, with any seized oil potentially being sold and the proceeds sent to Ukraine.Before any ship is boarded, its situation will be examined by law enforcement, military, and energy market specialists, with a recommendation made to ministers. Seizure could be followed by criminal proceedings against the owners, operators, and crew for breaches of UK sanctions legislation.

Partridge Boswell's poem, 'The Gathering', has been crowned the winner of this year's National Poetry Competition, a prestigious award that attracted over 21,000 entries from poets across 113 countries. The poem delves into themes of language, love, and the struggle to make sense of global suffering, state violence, and war.Boswell's work is a reflection of his attempt to process the emotional burden of following distressing global events. He describes how he wrote elegies, parodies, and rants to cope with his discomfort and disbelief. The poem specifically addresses the challenge of maintaining language's potency in the face of the relentlessness of the news cycle and the difficulty of resisting false narratives.The judges praised 'The Gathering' for its ambition, emotional stakes, and philosophical perspicacity. They noted that the poem reflects on the tensions between personal grief and state violence, particularly in Gaza. The poem questions how to preserve the potency of language amid the overwhelming nature of global events.Boswell, who is also the author of the Fool for Poetry prize-winning chapbook Levis Corner House and the Grolier prize-winning collection Some Far Country, will receive £5,000 for his winning poem. His work, along with the runner-up and third-place poems, will be published in the spring 2026 issue of The Poetry Review.The National Poetry Competition, founded in 1978, has a history of recognizing talented poets. Past winners include Carol Ann Duffy, Sinéad Morrissey, James Berry, and Tony Harrison. This year's competition saw seven commended poets receive £500 each, while Damen O'Brien's poem Axe secured the runner-up position with a £3,000 prize.

The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) has accused Crispin Odey, a former hedge fund manager, of attempting to manipulate a victim of sexual assault into silence. According to evidence presented in court, Odey sent a text to his former employee in January 2022, warning her that the FCA could question her about him.Odey, who has previously accepted that he groped the woman without her consent in 2005, claimed he was under the influence of sedatives at the time. He now faces a number of sexual harassment allegations and has launched a £79m libel lawsuit against the Financial Times.The FCA's lawyer, Clare Sibson, argued that Odey was trying to manipulate the victim into silence and had a clear motive to discourage her from providing her account to the FCA. Odey, however, claimed he only wanted to ensure the woman would "tell the truth".The hearing continues, with Odey hoping to overturn the FCA's decision to ban him from the UK's financial services industry. In addition to the libel lawsuit, Odey is also facing civil personal injury claims by five women, including one who accused him of rape.

Lisa Kudrow reprises her role as Valerie Cherish in the third season of 'The Comeback', a character often compared to Steve Coogan's Alan Partridge. Both are narcissistic figures clinging to past showbiz successes. The show initially gained acclaim for its satirical take on the entertainment industry. This season, Cherish is offered a lead role in a new sitcom called 'How's That?', which is secretly written by an AI program. The use of AI in comedy writing is a key concern, especially following the 2023 US writers' strikes. However, the show fails to effectively satirize this concept, instead opting for a more sentimental approach. The Comeback's earlier seasons were praised for their meta approach, blending reality TV and mockumentary styles. However, the latest season struggles with its format, frequently switching between mock-doc and traditional sitcom modes without clear justification. Cherish, once portrayed as a sharp-elbowed has-been, has evolved into a reformed character. She is now universally praised by those around her, making her less relatable and less humorous. The show's attempts at humor fall flat, with the AI-generated scripts producing generic and unfunny gags. The season concludes as a heartfelt paean to traditional comedy, but its lack of humor and toothless satire leave little confidence in its future. The show's shift towards sentimentality over satire is a significant disappointment.

The traditional cold war diplomacy of brinkmanship, characterized by carefully balanced standoffs and rules-based international order, has given way to a world in freefall. This shift is exemplified by the ever-widening conflict in the Gulf where strategic objectives remain as unclear as the potential endpoint of hostilities.Approaching a month since the United States and Israel launched attacks on Iran, the stated objectives of removing the country's nuclear threat and destroying its ballistic missile capability appear increasingly disconnected from the disproportionate impact on civilians and neighboring Gulf nations. Despite these consequences, the Iranian regime's willingness to escalate the conflict shows no signs of diminishing.The Guardian Weekly's coverage examines this critical juncture through multiple perspectives. Patrick Wintour recounts the pivotal week when global tensions reached a tipping point, while Richard Partington analyzes the long-term economic implications of a prolonged conflict, from oil price fluctuations to inflationary pressures and economic growth impacts. From South Lebanon, William Christou reports on healthcare professionals caught in the crossfire of Israeli airstrikes, highlighting the human cost of the escalating violence.Emma Graham-Harrison provides insight from Jerusalem, examining Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's strategy of attempting to rehabilitate his image through what he frames as destruction of an 'axis of evil.' Meanwhile, Simon Tisdall poses a critical question: when US President Donald Trump eventually seeks to halt the conflict, will any parties be willing to heed his calls for de-escalation?Beyond the primary geopolitical focus, this week's Guardian Weekly edition explores several significant developments across different sectors. The UK political landscape features an examination of the upcoming local elections, where voter sentiment appears increasingly focused on rejecting established parties rather than actively supporting alternatives. The scientific section explores innovative approaches to addressing snoring disorders through CPAP machines, while the culture section features an in-depth interview with Dave Grohl discussing Foo Fighters, personal challenges, and grief following the loss of bandmate Taylor Hawkins.In sports, the publication celebrates the remarkable achievement of British athletes Keely Hodgkinson, Georgia Hunter Bell, and Molly Caudery, who each secured gold medals at the world indoor athletics championships in Poland, showcasing British excellence in track and field events.