They Will Kill You Review: A Satirical Beat-Em-Up with Gore and Deja Vu

The film 'They Will Kill You' is a satirical take on the beat-em-up genre, offering a mix of gore, bad jokes, and deja vu. The story revolves around Asia, a new maid at the Virgil, a satanic co-op residence in New York, where she must navigate a world of satanic rituals and eternal life.

The film's tone is pitched between a bloodbath and bath time, with a boyish strain of immaturity dominating the creative force. This is evident in the giddy, inventive approach to violence, where the narrative device of immortality unshackles the filmmaker from the laws of physics. The film's antic gore peaks with an extended interlude following a disembodied eyeball as it rolls down corridors and slingshots itself up an elevator shaft.

The adolescent quality runs deeper than that, manifesting more overtly in the potty-mouthedness of the script and the ostentatious stylistic flourishes that are hand-me-downs from other filmmakers. The film's supporting cast is haphazardly assembled and half-assedly differentiated from one another, with Heather Graham and Tom Felton getting the most to do.

Despite its sprightly fight choreography and retro synth arpeggios, the film's invoked inspirations and story components err on the side of the popular and well-trod. The received shtick grows worn before long, and the film's attempts at humor often fall flat. A good rule of (severed) thumb: if you're going to make a character quote Monty Python's immortal 'just a flesh wound' bit, you must yourself be capable of originally generating something at least as funny.