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The film 'They Will Kill You' is a satirical take on the beat-em-up genre, offering a mix of gore, bad jokes, and deja vu. The story revolves around Asia, a new maid at the Virgil, a satanic co-op residence in New York, where she must navigate a world of satanic rituals and eternal life.The film's tone is pitched between a bloodbath and bath time, with a boyish strain of immaturity dominating the creative force. This is evident in the giddy, inventive approach to violence, where the narrative device of immortality unshackles the filmmaker from the laws of physics. The film's antic gore peaks with an extended interlude following a disembodied eyeball as it rolls down corridors and slingshots itself up an elevator shaft.The adolescent quality runs deeper than that, manifesting more overtly in the potty-mouthedness of the script and the ostentatious stylistic flourishes that are hand-me-downs from other filmmakers. The film's supporting cast is haphazardly assembled and half-assedly differentiated from one another, with Heather Graham and Tom Felton getting the most to do.Despite its sprightly fight choreography and retro synth arpeggios, the film's invoked inspirations and story components err on the side of the popular and well-trod. The received shtick grows worn before long, and the film's attempts at humor often fall flat. A good rule of (severed) thumb: if you're going to make a character quote Monty Python's immortal 'just a flesh wound' bit, you must yourself be capable of originally generating something at least as funny.

The V&A; Museum's lavish spring show, Schiaparelli: Fashion Becomes Art, is a surrealist's dream come true. The exhibition takes visitors on a journey through the life and work of Elsa Schiaparelli, a fashion designer who defied conventions and pushed the boundaries of art and fashion.Schiaparelli's designs are a whimsical and witty blend of art, culture, and fashion. From a shoe that becomes a hat to a telephone dial that transforms into a compact mirror, each piece is a testament to her innovative spirit and creative genius.The exhibition features collaborations with famous artists like Salvador Dalí and Jean Cocteau, showcasing iconic pieces such as the lobster telephone and the skeleton dress. These works demonstrate Schiaparelli's ability to merge fashion and art, creating something truly unique and groundbreaking.Elsa Schiaparelli was a trailblazer in her own right, launching her fashion career in Paris in the 1930s and quickly gaining recognition for her trompe l'oeil sweaters and shocking pink designs. Her legacy continues to inspire designers today, including Daniel Roseberry, who has been spearheading the brand's revival since 2019.The exhibition also features modern pieces that showcase the brand's continued commitment to innovative design and artistic collaboration. From a golden breastplate worn by Bella Hadid at Cannes to a robot baby made from old flip phones and circuit board shards, these works demonstrate the brand's ongoing dialogue with art and culture.Schiaparelli: Fashion Becomes Art is a must-see exhibition for anyone interested in fashion, art, and culture. It challenges visitors to think differently about the relationship between fashion and art, and showcases the enduring legacy of Elsa Schiaparelli's surrealist designs.

Ukraine's national football team is on the brink of a significant achievement as they prepare to face Sweden in a crucial World Cup 2026 qualifier playoff. The match, set to take place in Valencia, Spain, represents a vital opportunity for Ukraine to end their 20-year absence from the World Cup. Serhiy Rebrov, Ukraine's manager, is determined to lead his team to victory, emphasizing the importance of representing their country amidst ongoing challenges.The Ukrainian team has faced considerable adversity, including the absence of key players due to injuries and the impact of Russia's full-scale invasion in February 2022. Ukraine has had to play numerous matches in various European cities, including Lodz, Prague, Leverkusen, and Warsaw, due to the conflict at home. Despite these challenges, Rebrov's squad has shown resilience, having recently qualified for Euro 2024 and narrowly missing out on a spot in the 2022 World Cup.Rebrov's determination is palpable as he highlights the significance of this match for his players and the nation. 'We have to do something for our people,' he says. 'They deserve this. I'm sure our players will fight on the pitch, show character, show everything just to be there.' The team's motivation is further amplified by the support of their fans, with approximately 20,000 expected to attend the match at the Estadi Ciutat de Valencia.On the other side, Sweden, under the management of Graham Potter, is also eager to secure a spot in the World Cup. Despite their own challenges, including injuries to key players like Alexander Isak and Dejan Kulusevski, Potter remains optimistic about his team's chances. The match promises to be a closely contested encounter, with both teams aware of the significance of a victory.Beyond the sporting aspect, the match also holds emotional value, as both countries have agreed to a long-term cooperation agreement, including the donation of football equipment to Ukrainian schools. This gesture underscores the power of sports to foster unity and support in times of adversity.

Republic of Ireland captain Seamus Coleman has urged his team to complete the job of qualifying for the World Cup, saying they have a duty to lift the country. The Republic visit the Czech Republic on Thursday in a World Cup playoff semi-final.Coleman believes that recent history, including painful playoff defeats in the past, will be forgotten in Prague. He emphasized that the current team, led by manager Heimir Hallgrímsson, has the confidence and momentum to end a 24-year absence from the World Cup.The team has been allocated only 1024 tickets for the semi-final, but Coleman insists the Republic will not be intimidated in Prague. He added that the team's recent wins over Portugal and Hungary have lifted the country and given people something to talk about.Coleman's confidence was shared by Hallgrímsson, who recently extended his contract with the Football Association of Ireland until the end of the Euro 2028 campaign. The Czech Republic pose a conundrum ahead of the semi-final, with Miroslav Koubek taking charge of the national team.

Australian swimmer Cameron McEvoy has achieved a lifelong dream by breaking the 50m freestyle world record with a time of 20.88 seconds at the China Open. The Queenslander shattered the longstanding record by three hundredths of a second, a mark set during the era of now-banned super-suits.The 31-year-old athlete expressed his surprise and delight at achieving this milestone ahead of schedule. "That was more of a target for the end of this season, so to have hit it at the moment in March is really special," McEvoy stated upon returning to Brisbane.McEvoy's journey to swimming's pinnacle has been unconventional. Having made his Olympic debut in London as a teenager in 2012, he won bronze medals in relays in Rio and Tokyo before securing his first individual Olympic gold in Paris in 2024 at age 30—well past the typical peak age for elite sprinters.His remarkable rise to dominance stems from a radical rethinking of his training methodology. McEvoy abandoned traditional long pool sessions in favor of strength training and short, explosive sets that mimic the specific requirements of the 50m event. This year, he took an even more extreme approach."I had an off-season which was mainly strength development, and I've barely done much swimming since the [August] World Champs last year, up until this comp," McEvoy explained. "And then this comp was meant to be the transition door into going into more of a sprint-focused regime, but because I got the world record and I've made steps, the idea is just to double down on this and not change it, see how far this can actually take me."The previous world record-holder, César Cielo, congratulated the Australian on his "incredible" swim, sharing a profound insight: "You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete."McEvoy's innovative approach has resonated beyond his own achievements. He receives weekly messages from both elite athletes and former swimmers who have returned to the sport inspired by his methods. "The amount of them that are saying that they're doing lifetime best times and they're deep into their 40s, compared to when they were training full-time in their teens, it's pretty incredible," he noted.Looking ahead, the Australian swimmer has set his sights on future Olympic Games. "I've still got my eyes on LA, I definitely have my eyes on the home Games here in Brisbane, and so I'll just keep at it every year and just take it one step at a time," McEvoy stated, emphasizing his commitment to continue pushing boundaries with his unique training philosophy.

UK MPs have called on the government to halt a contract with Palantir, a US-based spy-tech company, after it was revealed that the firm will gain access to a vast trove of highly sensitive UK financial regulation data. The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA), the watchdog overseeing thousands of financial bodies, has hired Palantir to apply its AI systems to two years' worth of internal intelligence data to help tackle financial crime. However, the Liberal Democrats and Green party have raised concerns over Palantir's ties to Donald Trump and the potential risks to national and economic security. The Liberal Democrats have called for a government investigation into the contract, citing concerns that it could be "a huge error of judgment". Palantir, founded by Peter Thiel, a billionaire supporter of Trump, has built up over £500m in contracts in the UK, including with the NHS, police, and Ministry of Defence. The company supports the US and Israeli militaries and the ICE immigration crackdown. Insiders at the FCA have questioned whether there are sufficient safeguards in place to prevent the data from being exploited. There are concerns about the potential for data about sensitive FCA investigations into high-profile figures to be accessed during Palantir's work. The FCA has insisted that Palantir will be a "data processor", not a "data controller", meaning it can only act on instruction from the regulator. The FCA will retain exclusive control over the encryption keys for the most sensitive files, and the data will be hosted and stored solely in the UK. Despite these assurances, MPs have expressed concerns over the risks associated with the contract. Daisy Cooper, the Liberal Democrats' Treasury spokesperson, called for an investigation into the FCA's Palantir contract, citing concerns over Palantir's ties to Trump. The Green party MP Siân Berry has called for the government to "step in immediately and protect our national and economic security by blocking this contract award". Palantir has denied claims that it may "use customer data for our own purposes", stating that this is "something that we have no business interest in, and that we are legally and contractually prevented from doing".

Michelle De Swarte's comedy career is a testament to her versatility, having worked as a model, actor, journalist, and now comedian. Her latest touring show, 'The Afters', is a hilarious and mouthy performance that leaves audiences in stitches. While the set may not break new ground in terms of comedy themes, De Swarte's confident and cavalier standup voice makes it a standout.From the outset, De Swarte's ability to turn crowd work into a fine set piece about cultural appropriation and Norfolk seafarers showcases her skill. She follows up with a number about a “poor-off” contest she had with a citizen of Bradford, whose salty tang of truth adds up to something far funnier than the usual comedy of class cliches. Her menopause material is distinguished by her pose of stroppy denial, making it a refreshing take on a commonly tackled topic.De Swarte's say-what-she-sees manner seems wholly unaffected, as she arches eyebrows at various aspects of modernity. Her resistance to touchy-feeliness is evident, and her background – poor, queer, and ruthlessly unsentimental – provides context for her personality and comedic style. The show's later stages feature rough-hewn comic effect as De Swarte recalls her forebears and their attitudes.The show's final section, in which De Swarte recalls her encounters with Jeffrey Epstein and P Diddy, leaves the audience wanting more. Perhaps there's a whole show or book to come from this cheerfully incautious comic voice. For now, 'The Afters' is a must-see for fans of comedy and those looking for a fresh voice in the industry.

Have you ever felt like you're racing against the clock, constantly chasing appointments and deadlines? This relentless pursuit of time is a universal experience, but what is time, really? Is it a physical phenomenon or just a tool we use to coordinate our lives? Time is often seen as an independent, physical entity that ticks by relentlessly, but emerging scientific evidence suggests that this isn't the case. Time is more like a mathematical tool, useful for coordinating our interactions, but it doesn't have an independent existence of its own. Just like money, we've become dependent on it, but it's not a physical reality. The pressure to be 'on time' is instilled in us from a young age, and we're constantly surrounded by clocks and digital alerts that divide our day into smaller pieces. This has led to a phenomenon known as 'time famine,' where the more efficient and productive we try to be, the less time we feel we have. Studies have shown that people experiencing time famine are less likely to engage in activities they enjoy, eat healthily, or seek medical attention when needed. Our brains don't have dedicated areas for tracking time, and our experience of it can vary greatly. Time can seem to drag or fly by, depending on our circumstances. For example, people with certain conditions, like akinetopsia, experience time in sudden jumps or frozen moments. The psychedelic drug mescaline can also distort time perception, making it seem like hours or even centuries have passed. Quantum physicists have found that time is not a fixed, physical flow. The famous double-slit experiment shows that a physicist's choice of measurement can influence the behavior of a particle. In a lesser-known variant of this experiment, the physicist's choice at the point of measurement can even influence the particle's past behavior. This suggests that time is not a fixed, linear concept, but rather a flexible and subjective experience. Some indigenous cultures, like the Aymara people of Chile, experience time differently. They see the future as hidden behind them, unseeable and unknowable. The Amondawa people of the Amazon have no clocks or concept of time. Instead, they live in the present, experiencing 'lived time,' which is a personal, malleable experience of change. Lived time is different from clock time, as it's not defined by numerical counters or seconds. Each moment is like a tapestry, woven from changes on multiple timescales. When we focus on lived time, it expands and becomes richer, rather than narrowing or contracting. It's a flow that carries us and connects us with others, rather than something we chase and never catch. To combat time famine, we need to remind ourselves that the clock is a tool, not a master. We should beware of digital alerts and alarms that divide our day into smaller pieces and instead focus on the rich pattern of changing connections that wire us into each moment. By doing so, we can tap into the creative process of lived time and experience a more fulfilling and connected life.

The announcement of BTS's comeback album has transported me back to a bygone era, one marked by all-consuming passion and a dash of secrecy. As a teenager, I was deeply invested in K-pop, particularly BTS, but I often found myself hiding this obsession from peers due to fear of ridicule. In those days, it was uncommon for groups of girls to openly discuss or watch new music videos from popular K-pop bands like BTS or One Direction. We'd often gather in private settings, like late-night Skype calls or in the back of a classroom, to share and enjoy our favorite content. This clandestine nature of fandom was partly due to the stigma attached to being a 'fan girl.' The author recalls feeling self-conscious about their enthusiasm and downplaying it to avoid being labeled as 'crazy' or 'obsessed.' This behavior was not unique; many teenage girls have similar experiences, often softening their passions to fit in or avoid criticism. The question remains: why is it that displaying genuine emotion is frequently misconstrued as unhealthy dependence? Looking back, the author feels a sense of protection and softness towards their younger self, who found solace, connection, and belonging through BTS's music and universe. During a particularly challenging time, when the author moved to Melbourne alone at 17, BTS's extensive content provided comfort and something to look forward to. This period of intense fandom ultimately helped the author make meaningful connections and discover creative outlets like writing. The experience was pivotal in their personal development, offering a safe space to express themselves and explore their creativity through fan art, fan fiction, and more. With the release of BTS's new album, Arirang, and a world tour on the horizon, the author is eager to revisit their teenage self, embracing the excitement and joy that comes with being a fan. This nostalgia-tinged comeback is not just about the music; it's about reconnecting with a part of themselves that they had set aside.